I’ve been making pizza with Trader Joe’s pizza dough for a few weeks now.  I’m getting better, but the quest to create the greatest Trader Joe’s pizza is a never-ending one.  I am an artistic genius and creating pizza is an obsession.  What kind of cheese should I use?  Should I use multiple cheeses on the same pie?  In what proportions?  What about toppings?  In what quantities and proportions?  Should I put on 13 red onion slices?  How many pieces of sausage? What kind of sausage? And sauce?  And I could go on.

Ah, Trader Joe’s pizza; ah, humanity!